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A love letter to my friends
Within each of us dwells a heart of darkness; a place where our secrets hide, and fears abound. There our worst enemy- ourselves- our traitorous, blackest, darkest, sepulchers-selves lurks. The self within that kills and maims our own intellect, our creativity, our minds. The one that weaponizes others’ words, and attacks our soul from the shadows within.
It is a place of grimy, bleak, sooty, chaos. It is noisy, with a cacophony of negatives; ridicule, disdain, reproof, criticism, jealousy, vanities, regrets, guilt, vengeance, pride, sick ego and villains, of our own creation. Its foundation is scattered with the discarded remnants found in the mire and muck of the outside world. We take it in without thought, or even from unwilling circumstance, it clings to us and we absorb it as surely as a sponge takes in water: A superior’s stance in the workplace, a partner’s jibe, a friend’s thoughtless remark, a stranger’s glance, a child’s shove. We look for it in the face in the mirror and we voice it’s wicked, mocking tones.
“You’re no good, you’re not enough,” it says until we begin to believe it.
When one day, another face is seen – a face we may recognize – but don’t really know. We find ourselves wondering what it is that seems so familiar about this face. There is a reflection there, a similar self – another reflection that is almost like our own. We approach them carefully, cautiously, because there is a light around them now, a glow, an aura of authenticity that makes them easier to see among the bleak landscape of the Keanu’s numbers.
As we draw closer, nearer, we see it isn’t ourselves at all, but another reflection – not our own. Another being who has the same searching glance in their eyes, the same grim satiation of having seen it all, or a belief that there is nothing new under the sun for them to see. Like us, they are startled by the sense of recognition and a new curiosity springs like a crystal fountain within that heart of darkness.
Turquoise trails of sparkling conversation shower white glints of hope along its quenching, refreshing and renewing waters. Renewed spirit floods the scorched and barren landscape of banality, and we are suddenly found in a clear glade, abundant with colorful flowery words, sweetly perfumed adjectives, and scintillating metaphors. Words form thoughts, form dreams, form hopes, forms new pathways. The grass grows clover green and meadows bloom and blossom with ideas, creativity, and uniqueness. We find ourselves alive again.
Time is intrepid for it has no rival. It moves swiftly for each of us and inexorably toward a conclusion, a prescribed end. Through its natural course many events force us into that black, bleak jungle of “Life” and we tear ourselves apart trying to stay on our self-imposed course until at last, we meet those who share our reflections, who shine all the stronger when we’re near, and by whose light we, ourselves, shine all the stronger. We are empowered simply by their presence, their company helps us to remember ourselves again. Recalling the days of our youth, when our beliefs were strong, our path not so far from where we first emerged from the universe – full of destiny, hope, confidence, and a knowledge of our direction and into life intentions.
For those people have given us of themselves, unselfishly, unrestricted, with hope that we shall give of ourselves in equal harmony – equal measure – not in halves of fifty-fifty – but in wholes = one to one – Meeting in the safe place of our own hearts – no longer dark – but shining with the joy of recognizing another of our own kindred kind. Shining with the light of love, once found, embraced, for while the longing may be a physical homing for them to return once more, the theoretical fills the figurative heart to abundance and we are one with them again.
To my truest friends ~ I know who you are for I have recognized myself within each of you, you know who you are because you have seen yourselves in me.
Thank you for the love and acceptance
~Dr. Sophronia Winters~
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