 |
hallucinate
Summary: AU in that Etain told Darman about the pregnancy sooner. Whoever said your life flashes before your eyes, before you die, was wrong. The thought passed briefly through Etain Tur-Mukan’s mind as she attempted to nudge herself a few centimeters to the left without falling over completely. Somehow, despite the fact that her body had gone numb and stiff from the cold of the Telosian nights and wintery days long ago, she was still feeling a little bit of pain from the metal fragment, part of the downed larty’s door she’d taken refuge in, digging into her shoulder blades. She had long stopped moving if she could help it, sharp pain lancing through her body every time she moved, and had stopped using the Force to scan for threats long ago. She also had no idea if the Redeemer was still in orbit or not, she had lost contact with the Redeemer days ago, when the attempted invasion of the Separatist-held city went very, very wrong in the matter of seconds. She didn’t even know how many standard days ago the resulting devastation had been, she had drifted in and out of consciousness since then. I know Intel screws up, Dar, but really? Do they screw up this badly? General Grievous. No one had warned her, nor the Jedi Knight accompanying her and the troops, that Grievous would be here as well. He’d made quick work of the Knight accompanying them, and she had a few precious hours to draw him away from the troops before he caught up to her. She’d given parting orders to the commander in charge – continue the campaign without me and alert the Redeemer. Do not come after me – and began to draw Grievous away from the troops. And her plan worked. Grievous followed her to the crash site where the Separatists had shot down two larties earlier that week. Where she knew there would be no men for Grievous to hurt. But he nearly killed her in the process. Even days later – she couldn’t quite remember the number of sunrises she’d counted anymore – she was mildly surprised that she had woken up at all after Grievous finally threw her into the air, in the direction of the crashed larty that she now lay against. Her lightsabers were long gone, her wounds from Grievous still untreated and undoubtedly infected by now, there was a dull throb in the back of her skull, her face and hands numbed from the cold, skin tight with barely healed injuries, but she was still breathing. Somehow. In another life, she may have seen it as a sign from the Force, but now, after having lost her faith and trust in the only life she had ever known on Qiilura…she wasn’t so sure. Force, I miss you, Darman. I know we have our duties, but I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you one last time. Etain closed her eyes, shifting her thoughts back to Darman and Kad. Darman… she couldn’t tell where he was at the moment, just that he was alert and his attention was narrowed and focused – on a mission then. She withdrew her awareness, not wanting to disturb him. She could still feel Kad in the Force, through the bond that she’d had with him since his birth. Kad was content, and she hoped he still remembered her and Darman despite the little time the two got with him. Telling Darman that night about her pregnancy, when Kal introduced the baby to Omega Squad, had been absolutely terrifying, and it had taken a few more days for the two to reconcile afterwards. During the reconciliation, she had mentioned leaving the Jedi Order, once the war was over, so they could be a family. Darman had started imagining a future there, for the three of them. I’m sorry, Dar, that we won’t be able to get that particular future now. Etain let out a slow exhale, blinking when she slowly realized that the blurred gray-blue line she’d been staring at, for what felt like hours now, was actually the craggy tree line as the sun rose yet again. Another morning. She’d lived through another night. She closed her eyes, a twinge of despair fluttering in her stomach as she slowly realized she had already lost feeling in her fingers and limbs, and could not recall how long it had been like that. Not long now. She let out another slow exhale, watching the white puff of air dissipate into the skies. Her ribs were aching with each breath, she could still feel that. She closed her eyes, slowing her breaths to lessen the dulling pain. Dar. She could sense him again, still focused and alert on his task at hand. She tried not to distract him in those moments, but she also took a modicum of comfort in sensing his familiar presence. She then tried to withdraw, to let him work undisturbed, but his presence lingered, a calm and steady reassurance that she leaned against for the briefest of seconds before withdrawing her awareness further. But her concentration failed a few seconds later, she felt worn down from fatigue and injury. He felt close enough now, actually, that she could almost imagine that he was there, on Telos Six, with his squad. He’d move carefully and purposefully through the trees, unhindered and not slowed down by bothersome Jedi trying to keep up with him. Maybe, he was listening to Fi’s wisecracks in the background comm chatter. Fi, who would be trying to spark a reaction from Atin while also providing a running commentary of any gleaned intelligence. Niner, she knew, would be reminding them to stay focused on the objective that Master Zey had given them prior to their deployment. A spike of alertness from Darman brought her wandering thoughts back to reality. He’d spotted something. Etain tried to withdraw her awareness again, as to not distract him. He’d told her once, that he could sense when she was near him. She let a small exhale when her concentration slipped again, and she remained still, unable to summon the focus necessary for a complete withdrawal. Her eyes fluttered closed as she tried to once again pull back her awareness, as to not distract him. The resulting darkness was more…alluring, than she ever suspected, pulling her into its depths even as she clung to the threads of her bonds. Those she could not let go just yet. There is no death, there is the Force. Alertness shifted to determination, and his presence grew stronger. She wasn’t sure if she imagined the sound of soft crunching of dirt, twigs and leaves that was slowly coming close to her. She heard a soft clicking, one she’d heard many times as the men removed or sealed their helmets, but her eyelids felt too heavy for her to check. She tried to send a little reassurance to both Darman and Kad even as she felt her consciousness ebb from her grasp. The last thing she thought she heard was her name in a familiar whisper. A whisper that did not stop.
0 Comments
|
