All I felt was pain. I wasnโt sure if it was a physical sensation, or a mental turmoil fueled state anymore. I had thought about moving but every muscle in my body felt like pure lead. It was as if I was being tied down by blocks of cement โ my body to be forever one with the mattress it laid on.
I f***ed up again, big shocking and unbelievable sentence, right? Wrong.
This was just another f*** up. Par for the course at this point. I heard the creaking noise of the fan echo throughout the room, bouncing off the once poster filled walls as the ceiling fan hung on for dear life. Small bursts of wind blew over my face as I let out a groan and rolled over. The alarm clock by my bed read 12:03 PM and I glanced over at the door and thought of moving, but no such luck. How could I? Belly and I were over. No hope of reconciliation. I watched the look on her face as she spewed out the words โ โI hate youโ at my motherโs funeral. The last time I saw her she was telling me how much she hated me, and the only thing I could have said was โgood.โ
Good?! Was I serious? Of all the things to sayโฆto top that thrilling statement off I claimed our whole time together was a mistake. It was far from a mistake. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I just let it go. As if it was nothing to me, as if she was nothing to me. Only a pathetic loser would be able to do that with such stunning and childish grace.
I had spent this semester at home, taking as many online classes as the school would let me take. Brown wasnโt much for compromising on anything when it came to academics but leave it up to good olโ Adam, father of the year, to talk them into letting me only spend one to two days on campus for this semester. Did he bother to come around any in this time frame time? No, but he did his best fathering from a distance. And it wasnโt like I could just leave Jeremiah here. Alone. In this house. Despite our differences, it wasnโt right.
Although Iโm not sure just how much attention or time I was really offering to him. I knew I was acting pathetic, I just had simply lost the will to care. I thought I heard him call my name, but I figured if I didnโt answer he would just not even make the attempt. I heard the knock on the door, slow and almost apologetic in its demeanor and I knew who it was.
โJere, Iโm not really in the mood right no-โ I didnโt get to finish my sentence before I heard him push the door open anyway.
โYou know you really should air this room out Con, at the very least.โ
โAnd you should reallllly learn that just because I say your name doesnโt mean I wanted to actually talk.โ I glared at him; my brow furrowed. He didnโt say anything for a minute as he just stood in the doorway and looked at me up and down. His eyes were filled with judgement or empathy, I wasn't entirely sure. Felt like forever had passed before I finally just sat up with my legs getting swung over the edge of the bed. โOkay okay โ and just what can I do for you?โ
Belly, her dark eyes mirroring a tumult of emotions, looked back at him. Her life, often a whirlwind of challenges and choices, seemed to pause in this singular moment. It was as if the world outside their bubble ceased to exist, the background noise of life fading into an inconsequential hum. This was their moment, a silent conversation between two souls.
She paused, collecting her thoughts. The room around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in their bubble of shared understanding. "I remember when we were kids," Belly continued, a nostalgic smile touching her lips. "You were always the one who made everyone laugh, who brought light into every room. And here you are, years later, still doing the same for me, always looking out for me."
Belly's gaze held a mixture of admiration and gratitude as she looked at Jeremiah. "You say you're fortunate to have me in your life, but the truth is, I'm the lucky one. You've been my rock, my safe haven. And no matter what role you play in my life โ brother-in-law, friend, or something more โ always there."
Her voice quivered slightly as she spoke, each word laden with emotion. "I've faced so many storms, Jeremiah, so many moments where I felt like giving up. But then there's you, reminding me of who I am, of what I'm capable of. You see me, the real me, not just the face I show the world."
Belly reached out, her hand gently touching Jeremiah's. "You're more than just a part of my life, Jeremiah. You're a part of who I am. And I don't know if I've ever said it enough, but thank you. Thank you for being you, for being here, for being my unwavering support."
Belly couldn't help but laugh, a genuine, carefree sound that bubbled up from deep within her as Jeremiah hoisted her onto his back for a piggyback ride. The spontaneity of the moment, the simplicity of his suggestion to go to the beach, was like a breath of fresh air amidst the complexities of her life.
"Jeremiah, you're impossible," she said, still chuckling, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hold both secure and gentle. The wooden porch creaked under their combined weight, a familiar sound that spoke of countless shared memories in this very spot.
As Jeremiah stepped off the porch, Belly looked over his shoulder, her gaze taking in the familiar surroundings of her life that had recently felt so constricted. "You know, this is just like you, Jeremiah Fisher. Always finding ways to drag me out of my head, out of my worries."
She felt the steady rhythm of his steps as they made their way towards the beach, each step a testament to the unwavering support he had always provided her. The sun was setting, casting a warm, golden glow over the world, turning the ordinary into something magical.
As they neared the beach, the sound of the waves gently crashing against the shore reached them, a soothing, rhythmic melody that harmonized perfectly with the moment.
clear water Conklin, Isabel Susannah "Belly".
